Evangelism...my first try

Earlier in my life, I went to church, but it never meant anything. It was a Sunday thing; I was scared to death of dying. I envisioned this black hole that sucked me up, and I would get stuck in it. As a young girl, I also realized I was a perfectionist. No matter what I did, I felt it was never good enough. After college and then upon moving to Washington, I continued my self-destructive thinking. I tore myself apart any chance I got. It didn’t matter what it was about…something I did at work, my teaching abilities, how I related to my students or friends, how I looked in any clothes I owned. I hated looking in the mirror, and I began to physically self-destruct as well because of my negative thoughts. The main thing that caused me to look to Jesus was when I realized by trying to keep up with everyone else, I wasn’t staying true to myself. I was lying to myself and therefore everyone else, so I would appear happy. But I was dying inside. When I attended Northwoods by myself one January morning, Cal talked about was truly meant for me to bring change into my downward spiraling life. At the end of that message, he said a prayer. The prayer that changed my life went something like this…”Lord Jesus, I believe that you are the Son of God and that you died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin and you rose from the dead to give me life. Right now, I invite you into my life. I ask you to forgive my sins, to fill me with your Spirit and to lead me and guide me from this day forward. Change me and make me the person you want me to be. Thank you now, for coming into my life. Empower me to follow you from this day on. In Jesus’ name! Amen.” Since then, my life has really changed. For instance…I am more forgiving of myself. Of the things I cannot control, I give to God and put wholly in his hands. I pray more, put myself in others’ shoes more often. I am not haunted by my perfectionism as much because I understand now that God is the only perfect being. I feel like I am a better teacher because I don’t get as angry or upset as quickly as I used to, I can be more patient with my students and show them character, understanding, and love and through my actions they can see that I am living my life for Jesus.