Thursday, November 18, 2010
Healing Prayer
I prayed for someone with cancer last night...OUT LOUD! I was so scared, but it wasn't about me. Thanks be to God for giving me the words.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Small Groups and a Cool Story
This Sunday my small group attended Northwoods together, and the message delivered by Pastor Cal was awesome! He told of many success stories and ministered to everyone there so well. I heard that he read an e-mail of mine and and mentioned my name during the message on Saturday night. I wish I could have heard him! I didn't know he was going to do that!
It has been a long, long road for me to get to where I am today. I feel so loved by God, and I still have a few things to work out inside my own head. But God has brought me to where I am today. Without Him, I would be floundering in deep, murky waters that would eventually make me burst from the inside out.
So last Thursday I received an e-mail from a co-worker (T) asking for donations for another co-worker (A). When I first read it, the number 60 popped into my mind. I didn't really think much of it, expect I did think, "60 dollars? Really?" and then went on with my day. Friday, after school, I looked in my wallet, and all I had was a 10 dollar bill. I gave it to T and told her I would bring more on Monday. As I walked away, I wondered how much I would hand her on Monday because 60 dollars is more money than I usually ever give. A's daughter has brain cancer, and the tumors are inoperable. She is about 26 years old, and the doctors are not giving her much to look forward to. Monday rolled around, and I remembered my checkbook. I had written A's daughter a prayer of healing since I have never met her. T was going to drop it off when she dropped off the donation. In my class at Northwoods, I am learning how to pray for healing, and I thought this was a perfect opportunity to use what I have learned. Listen, Pray, Bless. I ran out to my car to get my checkbook, and as I did, I felt a nudge from God...give them the full 60. Money was never squandered in my household growing up, and it was hard for me to say here take it, but I wrote a check out for 50 dollars and gave it to T. I explained to her that I felt God told me to give 60 and while I normally would not have donated that much, I wanted to step out in faith and be obedient to God's will. While my 60 dollars will not perform some extraordinary miracle, I feel that I had made an extraordinary leap in my own faith journey. As I walked out of the room, I felt so good about my decision and thanked God for his role in my life.
That night as I laid sprawled out and exhausted on the couch, I received a text from T. She said,
"I gotta tell you that God used you today to speak to me about obedience - I need to listen AND follow His promptings instead of trying to compromise. Jesus didn't compromise at the cross and I need to remember that! Thanks for reminding me! Love ya dearly my friend."
I can't tell you how my insides felt as if I had a million beads shower me with God's love. It was so awesome! Then I had texted a friend who stopped by for lunch today. We ate out in the dugouts by the softball diamond. I found she was in need of prayer and while our time was cut short, she knows she is in my heart and my prayers. In class today we came upon the subject of divorce and one girl was mentioning how her parents fight all the time and I told her I would pray that her parents will work things out. She immediately said, "Thank you so much."
God keeps finding small ways to make my life so meaningful, and I am so thankful for that!
As I say to my students every day when they walk out the door for first hour, "Be good people, make good choices." On this blog I think I might add, "And listen for those nudges so you can deliver a miracle no matter how small."
It has been a long, long road for me to get to where I am today. I feel so loved by God, and I still have a few things to work out inside my own head. But God has brought me to where I am today. Without Him, I would be floundering in deep, murky waters that would eventually make me burst from the inside out.
So last Thursday I received an e-mail from a co-worker (T) asking for donations for another co-worker (A). When I first read it, the number 60 popped into my mind. I didn't really think much of it, expect I did think, "60 dollars? Really?" and then went on with my day. Friday, after school, I looked in my wallet, and all I had was a 10 dollar bill. I gave it to T and told her I would bring more on Monday. As I walked away, I wondered how much I would hand her on Monday because 60 dollars is more money than I usually ever give. A's daughter has brain cancer, and the tumors are inoperable. She is about 26 years old, and the doctors are not giving her much to look forward to. Monday rolled around, and I remembered my checkbook. I had written A's daughter a prayer of healing since I have never met her. T was going to drop it off when she dropped off the donation. In my class at Northwoods, I am learning how to pray for healing, and I thought this was a perfect opportunity to use what I have learned. Listen, Pray, Bless. I ran out to my car to get my checkbook, and as I did, I felt a nudge from God...give them the full 60. Money was never squandered in my household growing up, and it was hard for me to say here take it, but I wrote a check out for 50 dollars and gave it to T. I explained to her that I felt God told me to give 60 and while I normally would not have donated that much, I wanted to step out in faith and be obedient to God's will. While my 60 dollars will not perform some extraordinary miracle, I feel that I had made an extraordinary leap in my own faith journey. As I walked out of the room, I felt so good about my decision and thanked God for his role in my life.
That night as I laid sprawled out and exhausted on the couch, I received a text from T. She said,
"I gotta tell you that God used you today to speak to me about obedience - I need to listen AND follow His promptings instead of trying to compromise. Jesus didn't compromise at the cross and I need to remember that! Thanks for reminding me! Love ya dearly my friend."
I can't tell you how my insides felt as if I had a million beads shower me with God's love. It was so awesome! Then I had texted a friend who stopped by for lunch today. We ate out in the dugouts by the softball diamond. I found she was in need of prayer and while our time was cut short, she knows she is in my heart and my prayers. In class today we came upon the subject of divorce and one girl was mentioning how her parents fight all the time and I told her I would pray that her parents will work things out. She immediately said, "Thank you so much."
God keeps finding small ways to make my life so meaningful, and I am so thankful for that!
As I say to my students every day when they walk out the door for first hour, "Be good people, make good choices." On this blog I think I might add, "And listen for those nudges so you can deliver a miracle no matter how small."
Monday, November 1, 2010
God's Hands Pic
Sunday, October 31, 2010
God's Hands
I was driving home from meeting my sister at Kohl's to give her a change of clothes. It was then that I put my right hand at the top of the steering wheel. I had my IPOD hooked up and was jammin' to the likes of Jeremy Camp, Fee, Casting Crowns, Downhere, and more. I was singing "You are Everything." That is when I noticed it. Through the clouds, it looked as if fingers were stretching out toward me. The light shone through just like it looks at Northwoods during worship. The stream of light is smoky yet runs deep. It causes you to stare through it, in it, and see beyond it. The fingers stretched across the sky wider than you could imagine and reached toward me as if to call me home. I took a picture with my phone. I am not sure how well it turned it, but I just wanted to capture the moment. My hand still on the top of the steering wheel, I opened it and stretched my fingers comparing them to the sky above. The similarity was there. It moment just touched me heart, and it will probably mean nothing to others, but it meant something to me. I feel as if God is revealing himself to me more and more each day. I have my small group to thank for that, the people in my class, Doing What Jesus Did, the wonderful people who love me and believe in me, the Christians who help guide me and give me lots of hugs, and Cal, for being the brave, amazing, Awesome pastor that he is!
Life can be hard, but life is oh so good.
I find myself trying to hard to deliver God's miracles, and I need to look for the signals Cal talked about in church today. Can't wait to see what this week brings.
Life can be hard, but life is oh so good.
I find myself trying to hard to deliver God's miracles, and I need to look for the signals Cal talked about in church today. Can't wait to see what this week brings.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I had this dream...
One day last week, I had a terrible, horrible day filled with negative thoughts and beating myself up over the smallest things. I would almost cry at any little thing. I was frustrated, upset, and short-tempered, and I really hated myself for being like that. I tried to stop, but the enemy sure had me that day. It was terrible, and it was everything that was driving me crazy. My busy schedule, the neediness of my students, the frustration with not knowing how to coach basketball, the guilt and sadness associated with a predicament with my fiance all contributed to collective disgust and hatred. I went to bed upset and mad at the world. Then I had this dream...
There were rows and rows of beautiful, old houses. The kind people like to fix up and restore to the original craftsmanship. They were covered with layers and layers of tiny, intricate, unique snowflakes as if those minute flakes were trying to protect the houses from decay. My dad was walking beside me almost behind me. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him talking. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. It was all muffled coming in staccato sounds. Everything was covered with white, white snow. We had shovels in our hands, but we didn't shovel the snow. We walked along the buried sidewalk. Together. Even though the flakes grew bigger and bigger falling like a rainbow of Skittles, the air didn't feel one bit cold. I felt safe with my dad, a sense of urgency and anxiousness plagued me. Then clear as a bell, my dad said, "Look up ahead. What do you see?"
"It's green. That doesn't make sense. It is green. Why can we see the grass?" I asked puzzled.
The house looked as it would on a fall evening after the first frost. No birds or animals running around. Just still. Silent. Peaceful. Calm. We stood on the snowy sidewalk looking at the pavement just a few feet ahead, at the pungent green color of the grass around the house, the intricate designs on the shutters. He said, "Make a choice. Now. How do you want to live?"
Still not able to see my father, I tried to turn my neck toward him and couldn't because my eyes were connected to the green as if by a magnetic field.
"Look at the peacefulness. Find your Calm," he said commanding me to do so as if I didn't really have a choice in the matter.
"Father," I begged.
"Yes, my child," he said with a deep voice that I recognized as God's voice. "I am here...always."
That is when I woke up. I think it was God. He was calling to me when I was fed up with everything, stretched to my breaking point. He reached out to me when my defenses were down, when I couldn't second guess myself. He was telling me He loves me.
And when people say, "The good Lord knows I needed it," whatever it may be at the time, well, he REALLY does KNOW.
Thank you, God, for your presence in my life.
There were rows and rows of beautiful, old houses. The kind people like to fix up and restore to the original craftsmanship. They were covered with layers and layers of tiny, intricate, unique snowflakes as if those minute flakes were trying to protect the houses from decay. My dad was walking beside me almost behind me. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him talking. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. It was all muffled coming in staccato sounds. Everything was covered with white, white snow. We had shovels in our hands, but we didn't shovel the snow. We walked along the buried sidewalk. Together. Even though the flakes grew bigger and bigger falling like a rainbow of Skittles, the air didn't feel one bit cold. I felt safe with my dad, a sense of urgency and anxiousness plagued me. Then clear as a bell, my dad said, "Look up ahead. What do you see?"
"It's green. That doesn't make sense. It is green. Why can we see the grass?" I asked puzzled.
The house looked as it would on a fall evening after the first frost. No birds or animals running around. Just still. Silent. Peaceful. Calm. We stood on the snowy sidewalk looking at the pavement just a few feet ahead, at the pungent green color of the grass around the house, the intricate designs on the shutters. He said, "Make a choice. Now. How do you want to live?"
Still not able to see my father, I tried to turn my neck toward him and couldn't because my eyes were connected to the green as if by a magnetic field.
"Look at the peacefulness. Find your Calm," he said commanding me to do so as if I didn't really have a choice in the matter.
"Father," I begged.
"Yes, my child," he said with a deep voice that I recognized as God's voice. "I am here...always."
That is when I woke up. I think it was God. He was calling to me when I was fed up with everything, stretched to my breaking point. He reached out to me when my defenses were down, when I couldn't second guess myself. He was telling me He loves me.
And when people say, "The good Lord knows I needed it," whatever it may be at the time, well, he REALLY does KNOW.
Thank you, God, for your presence in my life.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Why?
Why is it that I get so excited during the message at church? I am ready to go out and let God work his miracles through me. Then I get out there and...(crickets).
Why do I let the little things bother me?
Why am I energetic and ready to tackle the world's problems one day and mad at the world the next?
Why do I feel so 'worth' it one day and lower than pond scum the next?
Why do I stuff myself so full only to feel guilty about all I have eaten later when I am trying to fit into a wedding dress!!!!
Why do I worry when I need to give it up to God. He has a plan.
Why do I not trust in Him enough? What do I do when I feel myself start to shut down?
Why does life have to get in the way?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love teaching because I really can change lives that way. The way you tease, react to situations, the way you give kids the chances to redeem themselves, build them up, pat them on the back, love them especially when they don't get that love from home. All those matter. I matter. I guess that is why I love teaching so much. I matter. In at least one kid's life. I matter.
Why do I let the little things bother me?
Why am I energetic and ready to tackle the world's problems one day and mad at the world the next?
Why do I feel so 'worth' it one day and lower than pond scum the next?
Why do I stuff myself so full only to feel guilty about all I have eaten later when I am trying to fit into a wedding dress!!!!
Why do I worry when I need to give it up to God. He has a plan.
Why do I not trust in Him enough? What do I do when I feel myself start to shut down?
Why does life have to get in the way?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love teaching because I really can change lives that way. The way you tease, react to situations, the way you give kids the chances to redeem themselves, build them up, pat them on the back, love them especially when they don't get that love from home. All those matter. I matter. I guess that is why I love teaching so much. I matter. In at least one kid's life. I matter.
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